I often get asked what i look for when i interview candidates.  Sometimes the answer is simple, sometimes it’s longwinded.  Here’s my not so serious, but kinda true, possibly inappropriate list of do’s and don’ts for a job interview.  It’s by no means complete.  Feel free to add your tips.

Do:

• Breathe.
• Come prepared knowing as much about the company as possible.
• Put on that antiperspirant.  Hey I sweat a lot too.  Here’s a tip, wear an undershirt to absorb the sweat.  Wear a light coloured shirt.  Wear a thin breathable shirt.  Put on a blazer or sweater.  Check yourself in front of the mirror before walking into the office.
• Know what you wrote on your resume.
• Know what you want to do.  I had some candidates say they’ll take anything and they’ll say 4 completely different roles. Tell me what you want to do, love to, are passionate about.  That’s what I’m interested in hearing from you.
• Demonstrate how you would dress at a client site.
• Brush your teeth, lotion your face, chapstick!…seriously, i’ve seen the trifecta of eye sores (food in teeth, pasty cheeks and crusty lips).  It’s a great way to spend an hour or so staring at…it’s kinda like food…presentation has a lot to do with appetite.
• Research who you may interview with.  www.LinkedIn.com is a great site and you never know which of your friends may be connected to me.  It’s a small world and the IT industry is even smaller.
• Learn to shake hands properly. Firm, but not too firm. Longer than a high five, shorter than 2.5 shakes. Make sense?  Good! Moving on…
• Ask interesting questions.  Questions you really want to know.  Make it original, mix in a few classics.  I love it when someone asks me a question that makes me go hmmmm.
• Articulate. 
• Turn off your cell phones.
• Send a follow up/thank you note.

Don’t:

• Wear white socks with a suit.  Please! I don’t expect fashionistas, especially for tech geeks but go out and buy a pair of $9 black dress socks or borrow your dad’s for that interview.
• Polish your shoes.  Shoes are very telling.
• Learn to tie a tie if you plan to wear one.  Make sure it matches your collar spread…wide spread…full windsor.  Regular spread…4 in hand or half windsor is fine.  If you can make the perfect centered dimple in your knot…bonus points!  Google is your friend.  http://www.tie-a-tie.net/.
• Face stalk me.  yes this has happened to us all.  I know, I know, I’m on facebook a lot and i’m easy to find, but that doesn’t mean i’m adding you as a friend.  don’t add me right after the interview either.
• Stare at me like you’re trying to will me to hire you.  I had this one guy that just stared at me for 40 minutes.  didn’t blink once. 
• Say you’re an expert at something if you aren’t.  I will call you out on it. oh yes i will.
• Use that email address you had when you were in highschool going to raves…Oingoboingo666@hotmail.com.
• Badmouth your previous employer. 
• Give a sob story about how hard it has been looking for a job.
• Get all UFC and confrontational on me. That dude was a doozy.
• Give vague answers. Kinda sorta ya know?
• Talk about future vacation plans and time off required before you even start.
• Lie. Period.
• OD on cologne or perfume.
• Keep the bluetooth earpiece on.
• Bring your friend or step brother. lol. Love that movie.
• Complain about anything.
• Lastly…don’t float a silent but deadly air biscuit.  I’ll have to ask you to leave.

So there you have it. The unauthorized, unsanctioned peak into my head and what goes through my mind as you sit in front of me with sweaty palms.  What are your do’s and don’ts for Thoughtcorp wannabes?